So...About This 100 Things Thing...

So in lieu of an actual blog entry (because I have a few big ones to write) I figured I'd take a crack at this.
There's this thing on the internet concerning a list of 100 things about yourself. How can you really have that many things to tell....and on the internet?

Well considering that blogs are always sharing lots of information, usually about oneself......I guess there is a hell of a lot to say. So...here's my list:


1) I'm a treehugger. Both literally and figuratively.

2) I'm also a writer. Which makes it hard to be a figurative treehugger when I'm killing so many of them with my notebooks and printer paper.

3) I am an only child.

4) My closest friends are like family.

5) I would do anything for them and for my biological family.

6) I have arachnophobia.

7) The proudest day of my life was graduating cum laude from college just over a year ago. Four years after being told by my math teacher/senior project panel that I wasn't going to get anywhere in the world with my work ethic and attitude. HAH

8) My college became my home....and I'm still trying to figure out where home is now.

9) I love real big. Even after getting torn open.

10) My cat is the most lovable cat in the world.

11) I hate math. Like seriously.

12) I can't divide without a calculator. Just don't even ask.

13) And fractions are a nightmare.

14) I used to leave plastic snakes lying around my grandparents house for my grandma to find as a prank.

15) I trust people a lot less than they think I do.....and a lot less than I think I do.

16) I'm still terrified of driving.

17) In anxious moments, I sometimes pretend I'm someone else. Like I'm an actress playing a role because it's easier to be someone else than myself.

18) Audrey Hepburn is my role model.

19) Sometimes I try to channel her awesomeness when I'm in social interactions.

20) The only reason I ever wear sunglasses is to keep me from panicking in public. If my eyes are shaded, I feel better. Kinda like that kid on Big Daddy.

21) I have anxiety.....which has gotten worse over the past couple years.

22) An anxiety attack sometimes feels like it comes out of nowhere for no reason. Which is more frustrating than any that I know the cause of.

23) I try to keep it on the downlow a lot because I don't like dealing with anyone's reactions.

24) I'm double-jointed in my elbows.

25) And that is something that freaks people out when I show them.

26) I'm German, Italian, Irish, English and Dutch. And possibly Scottish.....not sure about that one. I like to call myself a patchwork quilt.

27) I really want to travel all over Europe.

28) Especially England. I absolutely love just about everything about England.

29) Including Doctor Who.

30) I have a crush on David Tennant.

31) I'm going to Bonaroo in June......and I'm so freaking excited to get to be a hippie and hear amazing music with one of my besties for 4 days.

32) I used to feel like I was born in the wrong era.

33) When I was younger, I had an easier time talking with adults or running around with smaller kids then socializing with anyone my age.

34) I always felt like kids my age were more likely to be judging me than anyone younger or older.

35) My aunt told me I was socially retarded as a child because I didn't get to play with kids outside of school.

36) I'm still trying to not be offended by that.

37) College cured me of the fear that I couldn't relate to anyone my age.

38) I cry almost every time I hear Innocence by Avril Lavigne.

39) I hate movies that make me cry.

40) I just really don't like crying in general.

41) I hate saying goodbye. Partly because that usually means I'm bawling but mostly because I miss people. A LOT. And I always have this little fear that I'm never going to see them again.

42) I worry. A LOT. About damn near everything and everyone.

43) I used to pretend my dad's battery tester was an EMF device because I wanted to be a Ghostbuster.

44) Ghosthunters is one of my favorite shows.....and I'm horribly upset that Grant is leaving.

45) I'm creeped out by ghosts but I love going ghosthunting with my best friends.

46) I'm still scared of the dark.

47) I sleep with stuffed animals.

48) Most of them make a wall around the crack between my bed and the wall.

49) I'm not comfortable sleeping unless a bed is against a wall.

50) I usually need a light on.

51) I sleep with my bedroom door open.

52) The closet door must be shut.

53) I'm paranoid

54) So that means I know how to survive any natural disaster.

55) I also know how to get out of a locked trunk, escape a kidnapping, and incapacitate someone trying to grab/hurt me.

56) I'd like to learn more about self-defense

57) I've been teaching myself the Thriller dance

58) Even though I can't stand zombies. Like at all.

59) This is mostly due to watching Dawn of The Dead which terrified the shit out of me.

60) When I was a kid, I was convinced that Dracula lived in my closet.

61) I was also confused about vampire myth and thought that he hated light of any kind. As did ghosts, zombies and the boogeyman. Hence, why I slept with a nightlight.

62) I love vampires now. Especially on Moonlight, True Blood and Underworld.

63) The Haunting In Connecticut is the most terrifying movie I've ever seen. Seriously.

64) I slept with the light on for like 2 months after watching it.

65) I'm still terrified of dumb waiters.

66) I'm absolutely scared of opening my eyes at night and finding something right up in my face, looking back at me.

67) I also don't like looking out of windows at night for the very same reason.

68) I should probably stop watching so many horror movies.

69) My favorite movies ever are the Back to the Future trilogy.

70) I can quote them. Sometimes verbatim. But usually right along with the characters. Which probably annoys anyone watching them with me, but I haven't heard any complaints yet.

71) My first celebrity crush ever was on Michael J. Fox

72) Christopher Lloyd is one of my favorite actors.

73) Even though I don't really like Death of a Salesman, I bought tickets to see it because Christopher Lloyd was playing Willy Loman. Yep...I'm a nerd.

74) I was in the front row with my mom.......and at one point, Christopher Lloyd accidentally spit in my direction. I was more in awe than disgusted. Which says a hell of a lot since spit usually really grosses me out.

75) I think I might be a fangirl.

76) I'm a major history geek.

77) I prefer pirates. Sorry, ya bloody ninjas!

78) One of my favorite time periods to study is the Revolutionary War.

79) Which just makes my move to Massachusetts even better.

80) One of my heroes is Benjamin Franklin.

81) The last time I was in Boston for a field trip, it was to go on the Freedom Trail.

82) I want to go again because I'll be a hell of a lot more impressed than I was at 11 years old.

83) The last time I was in Boston at all was to go to the Monster Ball.

84) Why yes, I am a Little Monster. I admire Gaga but I'm not toooootally gaga over her.

85) I like puns. Like, a lot.

86) And double entendres. I absolutely looooooove double entendres.

87) Which might be a reason why I like reading Shakespeare.

88) My favorite author ever is Meg Cabot. I reaaaaaaaaaally want to meet her someday.

89) But I also love Jane Austen, Agatha Christie, Howard Frank Mosher, Garrison Keillor, and J.K. Rowling.

90) I write a LOT of poetry.

91) Lately, I've been working on spoken word poetry. Just because I want to know I can do it.

92) I watch spoken word videos on Youtube....mainly Sarah Kay, Rudy Francisco and Dej Jam Poetry.

93) I have a lot of stories to finish writing.

94) I talk to my characters sometimes. I'm hoping this isn't a sign of mental illness.

95) I had imaginary friends until I was 12.

96) I was a pretty lonely kid.....which was probably why those imaginary friends stuck around so long.

97) When I'm really sad or upset, one of three movies makes me feel better: Tangled, When Harry Met Sally and Pride and Prejudice (the 2005 version with Keira Knightly and Matthew Macfadyn).

98) If I break out Sound of Music or some other musical instead, I either am really in the mood for songs.......or I am extremely down in the dumps.

99) Sometimes I wish life was more like a musical.

100) I love My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and take it's advice into my own life's issues.


TADAH! 100 things. Holy shit.

Lessons From Cartoon Ponies: Choices, Choices

Ok so here we're trying this againnnnn. Real-life breakdown of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic situations. This covers episode three, The Ticket Master.


Note: SPOILERS!


In the third episode, it opens with Twilight and Spike helping out Applejack in her family's orchard. While there, Twilight receives a letter from Princess Celestia. It's an invitation to the Grand Galloping Gala, a fancy celebration some months ahead. Included are two tickets. 


And therein lies the problem. Twilight has TWO tickets....and FIVE friends. 


They all have excellent reasons for wanting to go to Grand Galloping Gala. Applejack wants to sell apple goodies to make more money for her family. Rainbow Dash wants a chance to meet and impress the Wonderbolts, her heroes. Pinkie Pie wants to go because....well....it's the biggest party in all of Equestria and parties are what Pinkie does best. Rarity wants to go and meet the prince and live happily ever after. And Fluttershy amazingly wants to go too.....at least to see the private garden with all it's critters. 


But in all their arguing and favor-doing, they can't see how they are upsetting poor Twilight who is slowly pulling her mane out over the fact that she can't make all her friends happy.


What is she going to do?

can't please everypony

This is every friend's nightmare. Not being able to include everyone. 


Now, I've never been in this exact situation before. I've never really had tickets to some great thing and had to pick and choose between friends. But I have been in situations where not everyone can be included. 


Often as a kid and teenager, there were birthday parties or sleepovers or super-cool friendship bracelets going around. But the thing was, there were so many of us (we were a big group of friends) that there wasn't always enough stuff or space for everyone. 


Somehow, I always managed it well enough. I had few enough pals that were considered "close" so there was never really an issue including them in anything. But I remember agonizing over who would get invited to a large birthday party. There were best friends and friends and kind of friends who I played cards with during study hall or bullshitted with after school. Then there was a guy I liked who was a little older than the rest of us. How do you fit in everyone? Who do you invite to join in on your celebrations????


I imagine this is also the problem with who gets invited to your wedding or who can stand up with you there. When you want to share something special with your friends, you naturally want to share that something special with ALL of your friends. Having to choose between them......that's just too tough. (For stories about having to choose between friends and other awkward things like that....just wait for later MLP blogs. Whoooo boy do I have plenty of those kind of stories.....)


Like Twilight said in her letter to Princess Celestia at the end of the episode, "One of the joys of friendship is sharing your blessings but when there’s not enough to go around, having more than your friends feels awful." 


I'd rather hang out with all of my friends than go without them to the Grand Galloping Gala. But then.....I probably wouldn't want to go a gala anyway. But life is definitely more fun when you include everyone. 


And this is why my friends and I always have to call ahead for giant reservations before we all go out to eat :D 


"In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends."--John Churton Collins

Things I Was Afraid To Wish For

So....this entry is going to be a little more intimate than usual. Well....maybe not that much more....considering all that's been discussed so far. But anyhoo.

A couple months or so ago, I decided that as an adult or, at least, as a girl who's trying to be kinder to herself....I need to take another look at life. And what exactly I want out of it.

Part of this was looking at a little list I made over a year ago about what I was looking for in a guy. I will admit.....at the time, I did kind of have a guy in mind. But everything on the list was true. And pretty specific. The list overall still holds true. A lot of things on there are things that are really important....and what I absolutely will not back down on.

I want someone who is willing to communicate, instead of storming off or keeping everything bottled up. Someone who is not going to lie or try to control me or break promises (unless it can't be helped). That's very important. And I'd also like someone who can take a joke......and throw one back. that's pretty important too.

But I tried not to get too crazy because frankly, I was trying to not be demanding or crazy or superficial.

But I was missing something important there. I wasn't hoping. Like, at all. I was stating what I absolutely needed from a guy but not what I wanted. Not what I hoped for.....I never even acknowledged it.

Well I mean....I wanted those things too. But they weren't very detailed because I felt like I shouldn't be demanding anything. Or expecting too much. I didn't want to be a high maintenance chick. And besides, fairy tales are just that, right? Life is not a movie.....no matter how much you wish it would play out like one.

And then I realized......that I was thinking negatively by NOT wanting those things. By thinking it would make me somehow unappealing or stupid to actually wish and hope for a decent guy. I was not allowing myself to be treated amazingly or at least, respectfully, by not voicing these. So....here it is. What I want.

(I always feel like a little creepy voice is going "Be careful what you wish for...." in the background after a statement like the above .) O_o


1) As creepy as it might sound.....I want a guy who'd stand outside my house in the morning, holding a boombox, blasting a song that's meaningful to both of us.
Or pull me onto a riding lawn mower so we can lawn mow off into the sunset. Or a guy who would run after me in the rain. Or defy all stereotypes and cliques and expectations to just be with me. Wow.....I guess what I really want is to live an 80's flick. Only, with better hairstyles and clothing. And more technology. That's kind of sad ahaha. But I mean, it would be nice to have a guy who would be willing to do ridiculous stuff like that. For me. Because....it always felt like in the past....I was the only one willing to do that. For someone else.

2) Although, I will add to the first statement, I prefer it when guys call before they come over.
As a general rule. It tweaks me out and makes me feel all paranoid and skittery as a squirrel if there's any possibility of people showing up out of nowhere. I'm not too big on those kind of surprises anymore. So....yeah. Common courtesy and respect would be nice.

3) I'd like a guy to hear me say, "I'm fine," then sit down in front of me, look me in the eye and say, "You're lying." And then actually listen to me afterward when he pries my real feelings out of me.

4) I want to have one of those movie kisses.....
Where nothing else is there but just the two people kissing. (Which I've already technically experienced but....yeah. I'd like to know that that can happen a second time.)

5) I want to be entirely and randomly swept away by passion.
I mean, I've felt large amount of passion for someone before, a confusing and overwhelming swirl of love, lust and intense emotions. But...never acted upon it. Well, at least not in the way that most people act on it in  the movies or romance novels. But....I want that. I want to be completely swept away with someone else. And have that moment of just crazy, random, insane passion. Just to know that it really exists. That is does happen. That I can have something like that with someone else. That someone else can feel that for me too.

6) I want a guy who sees me, all of me.
And accepts me, does not want to change or stifle me. Doesn't want  me to play some role that he envisions me as. Someone who just wants me to be me.

7) I want someone who will let me love them.
Someone who will let me in and allow me to get close to them. Okay, I'll admit, I'm a sucker for someone who's got the overall aura of a cactus......but there's only so many time you can keep hugging what's stabbing back at you. After awhile, you just really end up wanting someone who's willing to let down their shields. Even if it's only for you.

8) And I guess what I really really want......

I want someone who thinks I'm worth it. 

That would be nice. 

Property of Disney :)