'Sponsitility......

I went to the dentist's today.

Like most people, I hate having to go. It's not exactly a fun time having people fishing around in your mouth with pointy objects. As I was seated with a glinting smile, I pondered for a moment what would actually possess a person to work with teeth. I mean really? Do you just wake up one morning and decide, golly gee, I wanna become a dental hygienist! Do they like shoving fingers into strange people's mouths? Is it an adrenaline rush for them? A fetish?

I'll bet that's what it is. A tooth fetish.

But seriously.....to want to poke people in the mouth with sharp little sticky hooked things? There's an inner sadist lurking behind those green masks.

However, I was trying to not think about this as the hygenist began her attack on my molars. No sense in having a full-blown panic attack with my mouth wedged open. So I drifted off into my inner happy place. Only this time my inner happy place was inundated with a nagging mature voice. Like an inner Jiminy Cricket, only this one wasn't so much my conscience as it was the Voice of Reason and Responsibility.

And this voice started off reasonably enough with legit thoughts and then turned into rants about ways I was not in fact a mature and responsible adult.

For example.....

Responsible adults brush their teeth every single day, twice a day. For more than 15 seconds.

Responsible adults also floss if not every day, at least twice a week.

Responsible adults have gym memberships. They also go for mile walks and runs in the morning.

Responsible adults do not hiss at sunlight when someone opens their curtains at 9 AM.

Responsible adults eat healthy foods, like fruits and vegetables and grains. They eat AND enjoy the bread with all the crap on the crust. They don't call a Dew and a package of Ramen to be a balanced meal.

Responsible adults drink wine for the hell of it. Tasteful, nice glasses of wine with dinner or sipped gently while reading a book.

Responsible adults also read literature.....books that make you think. Not your old worn copy of Captain Underpants for the millionth time because it's still funny.

Responsible adults no longer find bathroom humor to be funny.

Responsible adults drink wine in quiet nights in and on dates. Or they drink cosmopolitans at the bar. They do not create questionable concoctions with their friends and then end the night with throwing pieces from a drinking game down the shirt of the girl with the most displayed breasts.

Responsible adults don't play drinking games; they play parcheesi.

Responsible adults do not spend their money on coloring books or sidewalk chalk. They put their moola in savings. Or buy closet organizers.

Responsible adults also have organized closets. And shiny cars. And clean houses. They do not shove all their shit under the bed to hide it.

Responsible adults go out into public without having panic attacks. They also sit appropriately, use manners and never ever burp loudly in front of other people.

Responsible adults........



And that's when I realized, you know what..... responsible adults sound like they don't have too much fun.

*grabs sidewalk chalk and vodka* Who's ready for a fun night?